However, it might not be the best starting point for a person with memory problems. ‘Do you remember when…?’ is the question many people might associate with reminiscing. Why asking lots of questions may not work Sometimes it may be wise to distract the person with another memory or activity so that they do not stay in a distressed state for too long.įor more on this, see the feature Repetition in the Behavioural challenges section. In this situation, the person may have some unresolved issues about the event and so is to some extent ‘stuck’ with that memory. Sometimes the repeated story relates to a more painful memory or trauma. By listening to the same story with interest, a good listener can help the person with dementia feel better about themselves. The message behind this repeated story may be that the person is now missing that sense of identity and purpose. Perhaps the person talks in detail about their job or their experience of raising young children. Quite often the story will relate to a time when the person felt particularly happy or proud. It is not unusual for a person with dementia to have a favourite story which they return to again and again. A person with dementia repeats the same story, over and over: why? Emotional reactions are not necessarily a bad thing, but we need to respond sensitively.įor more on these ideas, look at the feature on Each person is different – so get to know me in the section Getting to know the person, and also The person behind the dementia in the section on Communicating well. It is also the case that reminiscence can sometimes provoke painful memories. Talking about the past can also bring up happy memories and good feelings, and this can be wonderful in itself, but particularly if a person is finding life difficult. When a person shares something about their past and another person shows interest or enjoyment, it is a wonderful opportunity for that person to feel that they are the one who is giving something to another human being, rather than always being the one who is receiving or listening.
Many people with dementia find themselves routinely having things done ‘for’ them or ‘to’ them. It is a here and now process which holds the teller and the told in relationship with each other.
Recalling the past is a means of owning it and hence preserving ourselves. We all possess memories, we all have our own unique life history.
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